Friday, April 15, 2011

Why did they make a cheap version??

Okay folks, here's another rant that's been building for some time.  It bothers me that certain products have been allowed to garner bad reputations because of lack of quality standards.  These products, when experienced as they are intended, are wonderful.  Their less expensive doppelgangers are an unconscionable attempt to cash in on the good name some of these products used to have, and bilk the consumer out of their hard earned money.  I'll start with the ones fresh in my mind, and add as I think of them.

  • Balsamic vinegar - The real stuff is amazing.  Sweet, acidic, and indescribably complex in flavor.  It tastes great on almost everything.  On an episode of "Good Eats", Alton Brown said he puts it on vanilla ice cream.  How to tell if you've got the real stuff:  viscosity.  If it looks like brown water, that's about what it's going to taste like. Balsamic vinegar should have a slightly syrupy consistency, about like the syrup that canned peaches come in.  Lots of pretenders on supermarket shelves, so be careful.  The real stuff is going to be a little expensive, but is well worth it.  The cheap stuff is not very different from red wine vinegar, but usually costs more.
  • Soy Sauce - Good Soy sauce tastes like what it is: a complex solution of salt and the byproducts of fermented soybeans.  Before you let that gross you out, do you drink beer or wine? Byproducts.  Cheap soy sauce also tastes like what it is: a simple solution of salt and caramel coloring.  No complex flavor whatsoever.  You might as well just sprinkle some salt on your food, and be done with it.  Taste enough real soy sauces, and you can start to taste differences in flavor, just as you can in wines or beers.  Add to that the fact that you can get a good soy sauce at an Asian market for about the same price as the salty brown water at your local grocery store, and it just makes sense to try it.
  • Mustard - That yellow stuff in the squeeze bottle just doesn't compare to its more expensive brethren.  It took me years to quit being such a tightwad, and spend the money on good mustard.  I had been curious for years, and then my wife brought up a very good point.  The extra $2 isn't going to mean much stretched over the months it's going to take us to finish that jar.
  • Coffee - pre-ground, bulk coffee makes for an awful cup of brown, bitter water.  Whole beans, ground right before you brew is the only way to go.  With some experimentation, you'll find that coffee grown in different places actually tastes different.  If all you're after is a morning lift, try some caffeine pills.  You get all the stimulant with none of the unpleasant flavor.